dear foundress,

I leaned in. I did hard things. I washed my face and developed treatment-resistant eczema. When I insisted on believing someone else had all the answers, life stunk. I thought the universe was beckoning me to do more, be more, have more, but she was really telling me to do less, be less, have less. How it taught me this was not through everything I did right, but rather, through everything I botched, resisted, feared. Flunking, Alzheimer’s, alcohol abuse, getting fired, developing alopecia: these were the ingredients that truly taught me I have always had everything I needed and wanted. Even the pain. Especially the suffering.

Foundress, this note has come to you for a reason, for it contains the stories of my own mediocrity in hopes that you will also discover what I have: that nothing is everything. Nothing loves you very much. Nothing will never let you down.